“ The groom was three hours tardily to the ceremony . By 60 minutes two , he had n’t even picked up his tux . ”
You know that recentviral (and controversial) videowhere the groom spewed the now infamous line, “Nothing’s better than the sound of gagging and headboard slamming,” into his wedding vows? Well, it got me thinking… what must wedding professionals see?? Surely, this kind of outrageous behavior has to be some sort of big red flag for divorce down the line, right?
So, I did some digging and found this old thread from the Ask Reddit subthread started byu/solsangraalthat isabsolutelyoverflowing with insider tea from wedding planners, photographers, and caterers who’ve seen it all. Turns out, wild vows are just the tip of the iceberg. Brace yourself:
1.“In the days before Pinterest, I was working as a florist in a very expensive shop. A young bride came in for her initial consultation, and we go through her scrapbooks with ideas, then she was flipping through our photo books and then oohing and ahhing over everything. She came to one pricey high-style bouquet — very architectural, with unexpected elements, and she says, ‘Oh, I love that! Not for a first wedding, but I’m so going to have it for my second!'”
2.“I catered weddings for several years, and the subtle sign I always paid attention to was how closely the bride and groom sat next to each other during the speeches, dinner, etc. The happy couples were always right on top of each other, sharing food, laughing, and just generally chatting. They were in their own world, while the rest of the wedding went on around them.”
" Other time , the two would be practically on the other side of the mesa from one another . The groom would spend the whole meal turn away chatting with his groomsman , while the Brigid looked the other direction staring into space .
Families can be mother fucker , hoi polloi get drunk , and nightmares happen , especially as the night go on , but if you do n’t care enough to revalue the presence of your spouse the very first time you sit down next to them , you have no chance once the real world takes over . ”
— uranium / ratbat2000
3.“Minister friend did a wedding once where in the vows the woman wouldn’t say ‘for richer or poorer.’ Just kept saying ‘for richer or richer.’ And she wasn’t joking. They didn’t last long.”
4.“Wedding photographer here. Two things come to mind. In one instance the bride and groom just could not be bothered to be seen together at the wedding. I had to virtually drag them for getting some photos of the two of them together and they kept walking off hang out with their friends. It would be one thing if they hadn’t seen their friends in forever but one friend they lived with and the others were in the same town.”
— Dr_Nik
5.“Oh man. The poor bride was six months pregnant at the time of the wedding, puking regularly. The groom was three hours late to the ceremony. By hour two, he hadn’t even picked up his tux. The venue almost canceled the reception because the groom’s number was the only contact they had, and nobody knew what was going on. He finally showed up, and everything went as planned, albeit three hours later."
— u / bebemoch
6.“Limo driver here. They were screaming at each other in the back on the way to the reception. The bride never made it inside. I later learned she left to go sleep with another guy. She just wanted half of his fortune.”
7.“Not a wedding planner; however, I worked as a banquet server for an event center that hosted wedding receptions. Bride was hammered drunk and very upset with her husband because he was not drinking. This led to her telling every person at the reception, ‘He’s just no fun anymore.'”
" 15 minute later , she is stick out in a hallway suck in human face with one of the groomsmen . Husband walk out , and the entire company collectively flipped .
They leave half a keg , though , and me and my coworkers got smashed . So , that was coolheaded . "
— u / CarltonCrew
8.“Had a wedding I coordinated where the bride literally went from this sweet, kind, and very fun person to a meltdown-laden bridezilla. … She grabbed his face mid-vows, pointed his face to hers, then said, ‘Do them over…NOW!'"
9.“I was a server at a banquet facility, and the biggest giveaway is honestly how the wedding party speaks to the staff. If you can’t be happy on your wedding day and yell at the servers for stupid shit they can’t control, you’re probs not getting married for the right reasons. This one groom was so angry at us he took us all into the hall and chewed us out for everything for, like, five minutes. He also faked a smile in all his pictures. Sounds weird, but the best couples hardly ever eat their dinner and spend the majority of the time greeting guests and thanking everyone for coming. They are the happiest by far.”
— u / delaughey
10.“I’m a baker, not a wedding planner, but I deal with them and weddings constantly. Once was doing setup in a venue for this monster cake for 500 guests and a dessert table. Usually, with something that big and expensive, I’ll stick around and ask the couple or the planner for approval before I leave. I finish and ask for the WP’s approval, and she comes in, sweaty and frazzled, and tells me it’s okay, and I explain how to cut the thing, because it was so big if you didn’t do it right, it would topple. I ask her what is wrong, because she’s out of it, not paying attention. She explains that the bride’s boyfriend showed up to the reception space to get into the bridal suite…with the groom’s boyfriend in tow.”
11.“Event manager with a caterer. Pregnant maid of honor told the bride’s sister that she’s been fucking the groom and the baby is his. She was dead sober, which is what made it so odd that it came out like that. Needless to say, we got to go home early that night.”
— u / youngmanhood
12.“I had a wedding couple come to see me by appointment to plan the music for their church wedding ceremony. They each brought their respective mothers to the planning session. Right out of the gate, they started arguing over choices for the processional. The groom-to-be wanted something to show off the full organ; whereas, the bride-to-be wanted something smaller scaled and gentle. There was no middle ground, no matter what organ pieces I showed them.”
13.“I worked the most amazing wedding ever! The marriage didn’t last six hours! I was bartending for the reception. Everything seemed pretty typical and standard as guests arrived, drank, and conversed. The wedding party arrived, and everything seemed to be completely normal. Everyone was happy, having fun, etc. When it came time for the formalities, the bar closed, and everyone took their seats. The speeches began, with the maid of honor and best man. Everything was going as per usual for a wedding…until the best man finished his speech, and the food began to be served.”
" The stableman grabbed the mic after the good man ’s pledge and wished everyone a great night and a skillful meal . That ’s when shit strike the fan . After his well wishes , he asked for the aid of his good man and Bridget . He separate them that he knew they were having sex activity behind his back for the entirety of the engagement , and that he would be file for an abrogation on Monday . He thanked everyone for coming and apologized to the father of the bride , saying , " I would have called it off week ago , but I work out you would be right smart more plastered at your little princess when you could n’t get out of the bill for the reception . "
— suroptpsyologist
14.“Years ago, I was a waitress at a fancy restaurant where we regularly had weddings. One night, we had this massive wedding party. His side was one of those families with loads of money but not an ounce of class. Just rowdy, loud, and incredibly rude, making sure to let everyone know how rich they were. She was a quiet, shy girl with a small family full of boring, mousy types. As the night progressed, his family just got drunker and louder as hers hid in the corners, visibly annoyed.”
15.“Bride warned groom several dozen times — in my presence — if he smashed the cake in her face, they would have issues. Using phrases like ‘I am not kidding’ or ‘I am completely serious.’ Groom was a good ‘ol boy type. His friends found out about his bride’s one stipulation about the wedding. She was flexible on a lot of other things, but no fucking cake-smashing. They started making whip-cracking sounds, teasing him that he was ‘whipped’ and needed to put his foot down and show her who’s boss. Yeah, he smashed the cake in her face. She had it annulled.”
16."[I] am wedding planner as well as [an] officiant. I forgot to ask for and sign this couple’s marriage license (I sign and send to the county for recording). So, I texted the bride, and she said, ‘Oh, no need, we haven’t gotten our license yet, and we’ll do it legally a different day.’ Okkkkkkkk…..A few months later, she’s with husband/not husband’s BFF. And now, they’re engaged. I wonder if she’ll be a repeat customer of mine?"
— uranium / tinysmommy
17.“Not a planner, but a photographer. Bride and groom both lovely people, but the groom’s mother… at the reception, she got so drunk that she leaned over in her chair and just puked on the floor. She spent the next two hours wailing and crying because she [told everybody] she thought her son deserved better. As I was packing equipment back into my car, I spotted MIL in the bushes, dress around her head, legs in the air, and a group of people trying to get her out. I later found out that she shit herself at a later point in the evening, and the bride spent time cleaning her up. Didn’t think the marriage would survive with a toxic MIL like that around. Then, I saw on social media that the bride and groom moved overseas, far away from their families!”
Note : Some reply have been edited for distance and/or clarity .
