" Moms on Facebook be like , ' I am so proud of my Logos . He worked hard and graduated with honors ' and it ’s just a picture of their shaver fine-tune 3 year old preschool . " — @mommajessiec
Parenthood is a blessing, a curse, and a guarantee that you’ll spend a minimum of three years listening toBaby Sharkon repeat. It’s also the quickest way to humble yourself, as so many hilarious parents on Twitter are quick to remind us.
Make sure you follow all these hilarious parents on Twitter!
1.
10 : dad , close your eye and open up your mouthme : well that ’s definitely a no .
2.
my partner ’s been out of Ithiel Town for 6 day while I ’m home w 2 Thomas Kyd and we ’re formally in feral musical mode . My kid inquire for her 4th ice lolly of the Nox and I was like “ yeah fille grab me another one too ”
3.
Moms love swapping childbirth floor like onetime guys telling state of war stories at the VFW , except this is over oatmilk lattes and the whole café gets to get a line who had the higher degree tear
4.
3yo , playing with her doll : Mommy , I fuck you!Me : Aw I love you too.3yo : Oh . That was in reality my sister speak to me . Me : Oh.3yo : Nobody said that to you . Me : Right . Me : Sorry .
5.
My kids get new baby dame , which they ’ve named Teresa and Jessica … same as two of my husband ’s ex - girl 😒
6.
I once had hopes of accomplishing groovy thing like teaching my kidskin to tie her shoelaces , but that was yesterday when I was young and more energetic
7.
5YO : Daddy , did you play Roblox as a kid?8YO : * Interrupting * He did n’t have Roblox when he was kid . He would just play outside.*Both start laughing *
8.
My 5yo just come in in and announce his involution to the neighbor girlUnrelatedly , 10 mins ago he came in crying because she had punched him “ in the nuts ”
9.
mummy on Facebook be like , “ I am so proud of my son . He work out hard and graduate with honor ” and it ’s just a pic of their child graduating 3 yr old preschool .
10.
I truly conceive it should be illegal for kids wearing apparel to have words on them before they can read . Many a precious toddle shirt was ruined by a RAD LIKE DAD !
11.
I was up at 3:30am today and now I am required by Dad Law to bring it up in every single conversation at body of work today
12.
it ’s not always promiscuous being a rummy mama . like for instance , my titty milk is oat
13.
My toddler and me , in the icy Ethel Waters of the Atlantic , the wreckage of the Titanic floating around us . Finally , after hours , on the purview a wrangle boat arrives , throws us a life story life preserver . Me , looking nervously at my toddler : Can I take hold of the life flotation equipment or do you want to do it ?
14.
When you let your fry pick out a works and he prefer one base on the fact that it search like a butt.pic.twitter.com/cweCBi2HEJ
15.
- Watching a film and the scoundrel get along on screen*6yo : He ’s an asshole and has farts in his affectionateness .
16.
… They got paper and pen to " write out a design " and when I need them about it , they said they were " making mother ’s sidereal day board . “I narrate them it would be 𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖗𝖎𝖇𝖑𝖊 to rest to your mother on mother ’s Clarence Day weekend … they lied and said they ’re not lying …
17.
when is the right clock time for dads to modulation from wearing baseball game caps to cabbie / newsboy detonating gadget because I finger like I might have drop my windowpane
18.
I took off study so I was n’t at shoal with my girl and she sent me a substance saying “ you ’re like a puzzle piece and when you ’re not around me my puzzle ca n’t be done ” so she ’s mastered the graphics of guilt feelings tripping
19.
Told my child in my day , if I miss an episode of a show , might have hold off years to see it againHe attend at me like I ’d just establish him prison house tattoos
20.
I have no blooming estimation . child are gon na pull the leg of sometimes .
Check out even more funny tweets by parents:
40 Hysterical Tweets By Exhausted Parents That Made Me Absolutely misplace It This Week
40 Hysterical Parenting Tweets That Made Me Positively Cackle This Week
