" They offered $ 1200 in cash for a volunteer to bump their trajectory & that ’s how I learned I am the miserable person in this terminal . " — @HeatherTDay
TheScreen Actors Guildmight be the next union in the entertainment industry to go on strike this year. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if workers were fairly compensated from the jump? I sure think so!
if you have ever date stamp exactly one bored actor you know this town is in no mode ready for EVERY doer to be bored and outside
Make sure you follow all these hilarious ladies on Twitter!
1.
My phone just filmed a 2 hour infotainment about life inside my pocket .
2.
newlywed : What is mine is yours and what is yours is mine . matrimonial 10 days : You ’re sitting in the andiron ’s position .
3.
every food market storage becomes an escape room if you see someone you know
4.
If men do n’t wanna be invite by seeing women in yoga pants , they should probably consider getting their optic or eyes rack out as the Bible says .
5.
As we were leave alone for workplace this sunrise my husband said something about watch the basketball game tonight and I legitimately mean we watched the serial finale like two dark ago . I googled how many games are leave and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it ’s like 47 .
6.
I hope this electronic mail finds you well into your thirties . forties or fifties even
7.
If my female parent mail you a endowment or a wit , please write her back and permit her know you received it . Otherwise , I will hear about it for the sleep of my life .
8.
Once an older man verbalise up for me in a work meeting and later I tell him I appreciated him being a good friend and he say “ yeah , you mystify ta play the game ” bc he guess I was proposing some Succession - character bond
9.
Netflix : are you still watch ? just wanna make certain 😇 HBOmax : you want to look out ANOTHER episode ? ugh ok appreciation onHulu : you watched one ep of this show and you did n’t turn off your telly so here ’s a random episode of some darn you ’ve never heard of we do n’t give a fuck
10.
you’re able to tell she fucked all her friends husbands and does n’t have any left hand because a real supporter would have burnt this top!!!https://t.co / vYMo6XwIWO
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I ’ll secernate you what I ’m not gon na do , I ’m NOT gon na save a recipe that my whole family miraculously loved . What I ’m gon na do is pass an minute searching the cyberspace try out to think what it ’s called every time I require to make it . The hard is what spend a penny it great .
12.
my friends small brother dated a missy named DrewAnn Andrews and I ’ve never forget her . i hope she ’s doing cracking
13.
getting espouse in the really olden times was so dotty it was like bye mom bye pop see you guy rope literally never again . I ’ll be two statute mile away
14.
will never stop thinking about the inhuman call I made yesterday to a person I have never spoken to in my sprightliness , who reply the phone on the second ring , in a tone of such authority it bordered on confrontational , with " Speak to me . "
15.
thinking about when i was living with the man i was dating and he told me i could n’t mind to his vinyl group copy of pinkerton because he was saving the first listen for the perfect moment when , one day , he would be exclusive and just move into a new apartment alone
16.
television is such a powerful spiritualist . The phrase ‘ moderate to stark plaque psoriasis ’ has been rattle around in my principal since I was like four
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my first job out of high school in 1999 was as a receptionist at a tiny spot where i was strongly discouraged to use the computer because " it ’s just easier with the typewriter"when i explained about print address label in Word the guy looked at me like I was a witchhttps://t.co/kDe6M4n9ig
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i ’m cry i hate this show so badpic.twitter.com/Kt80T6HzzB
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5 - year - sometime : infer what ? Today in school someone ’s EYE broke open . Me : What???5 - class - old : I ’m done tell apart this story .
21.
They offered $ 1200 in cash for a voluntary to knock their flight . & that ’s how I learned I am the pitiful person in this terminal .
22.
valet de chambre b like She accused me of thing that Are true grrrrrr
Don’t miss last week’s funniest tweets by women:
These 19 Hilarious Viral Tweets By Women Will Make Your intact Year
…or the funniest tweets by women in April!
You ’ll Positively die out Laughing At The 50 Funniest Tweets By Women Last Month
