" Venmo is my favorite social medium internet site . I hump to see my male child Derek charge his married woman for martinis . "
We’re nearing the end of the month, which means it’s once again time to share some of the funniest, wildest tweets I came across on Twitter this month. Enjoy!
And keep abreast the write up that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even good !
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Being a kid at the stature of messy daytime TV & amp ; soap operas & gt;>>>>>> ;
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Hey prima donna — can I call you diva ? Your insurance policy troupe denied insurance coverage to slay this prescription . But do n’t worry boots , your doctor can spill all the tea in a anterior authorization . If that does n’t mold , we can always appeal mamma .
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Mary feel out her son is the messiah
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who ’s kid
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Venmo is my favorite social media site . I love to see my boy Derek appoint his married woman for martini
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Me …
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pretty little prevaricator : https://t.co/dzvg7XpDXB
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this looks like an antm photo shoot https://t.co/0LliKC2Eim
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imagine being glen powell ’s gf and seeing that he cheated on you w sydney sweeney and everyone ’s response is “ real hollywood is back ! that ’s showbiz baby ! ”
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need to smoke here
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me holding back my toxic thoughts cause I told myself I ’d work on it
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courteously asked someone to take me out of his faithful friends and now I ’m blocked
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People in open family relationship will retweet a movie of guys nestle and be like “ I need this radon ” … go home then ? ? Girl
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it could be so simple guys
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Me having a tranquil moment before I ultimately choose wildness :
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🤭
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you ’re in his dm ’s . i ’m in everyone ’s dm ’s . i took 20 mg of adderall and i have something specific to say to each and every one of you .
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glen powell is a foul trickster and sydney sweeney is just a 25 twelvemonth old teenaged girl trying to navigate this crazy thing we call biography
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Did you have to use the discussion “ discharge ” ? https://t.co/A1IDy7vaMR
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the weeknd ’s medicine is like I ’m a bad boyyyyyy and I want to FUCK you girl … . but you ’ve been suffer … .. I can be angelical but I ’m a regretful boyyy ooooohhh
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Me go through the group textbook thread 12hrs later because that turd on mute
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still look for her to respond
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twitter can at long last screw peace . https://t.co/dYXg2dgQwy
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- there is gay porn in the hunting locomotive on the family estimator
13yr former me :
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" enjoy it ! ! ! ! ! these are the skillful years of your life "
this …. is the best ! ? ? ! ! ? ! ? 😭
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Me after finally escaping a night out with my friends
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me staring at the ATM when I ’m done just to verify digital audiotape mf go back to the home screen 👀 😂
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have we forgotten what Easter is about ? ? ? ? ? 😭 https://t.co/SdIEcSXze1
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fall for an april fools trick feel like this
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" Summer is better than wintertime "
The summertime :
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Every sentence I see a “ GRWM ” video .
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me watching y' all company every weekend
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Has anybody else acknowledge starter and entrees are the same darned Mary Leontyne Price ? ? ?
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when i see a car with eyelashes
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When I say “ I want a clean , good , walkable city , ” I mean this :
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think about how my mellow schooltime encampment misstep where I snuck over to the girls side to hang with my hagfish and my math teacher charm me but was like “ oh it ’s just Jake … that ’s fine he can be here ” she choke me much more than a scrap
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I overleap her tweets
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My parent https://t.co/ll5J6uv2yM
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World War II Home Front Museum , St. Simons , Georgia
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May is Monday ? ? ? ?
