" My boyfriend screw that I have about $ 55,000 bring through up and he also knows that I do n’t pay too many life expenses besides fuel , groceries , and a phone bill . But I told him that I was n’t comfortable loaning him money this betimes in the family relationship , "
For couples everywhere, money can either be an open conversation that helps them navigate financial goals together, or it can be a sensitive topic best not broached. Either way, it’s personal.
Recently, Reddit useru/throwaway6644227— who we’ll call Throw for short — shared astoryabout how her new boyfriend suddenly asked to borrow a large amount of money, and nearly 10,000 people have an opinion about it. I’m curious to see what yours is.
For context, Throw has been dating her boyfriend for three months and says she sees a future with him, but he’s in a tough financial situation. “He immigrated to my home country about three years ago and is on a student visa, meaning that he has to pay exorbitant visa fees and full-fee student fees. His parents do not financially support him,” she explained.
“He was recently talking to me about money problems, and basically asked if I could loan him $5,000,” Throw continued. “I’m extremely protective over my money as I work and study 24/7 to maintain my savings. Furthermore, my dad is planning to retire soon from the workforce after a heart attack, so I like having my savings as security, knowing that I could financially support him if needed.”
“My boyfriend knows that I have about $55,000 saved up and he also knows that I don’t pay too many living expenses besides fuel, groceries, and a phone bill. But I told him that I wasn’t comfortable loaning him money this early in the relationship,” she said.
“He then flipped the conversation on me, getting angry, and saying he was upset because I’m planning on getting a breast augmentation, which will cost me $10,000 next year,” Throw concluded. “He called me selfish for spending money on my body rather than him. But am I the asshole?”
The overwhelming vote on the post? Most people agreed that Throw was definitely not in the wrong. In fact, readers largely agreed that her boyfriend was out of line for asking for the money in the first place — especially considering how recent their relationship is.
" Not the asshole,“u / Sleepy_felinessaid . " You ’ve only been together three months and he feel entitled to your money . That ’s a huge crimson flag . Do n’t give in to his pressure , he ’ll only make more and more demands . "
Speaking of only being three months into a relationship, people also felt like that was way too soon for big fights like this to pop up. It’s supposed to be the honeymoon phase, but he already appears to be showing his true colors.
" You think that you bed him after only three month , and maybe you do , but that does n’t convert the fact that he lost his temper at you during what is normally the most well - behaved and romantic time in a unseasoned relationship,“u / Beeesh1said . " This is showing you who he really is . You absolutely should not consider lending him the money , and I am aboveboard feeling alarmed that despite you knowing in your heart that you should n’t add him money , his position towards you is draw you think that you are in the wrongfulness . This is emotional handling from him , and he likely wo n’t ever give you back . "
“His reaction to you not lending him the money is a huge red flag,“u/DisneyAddict2021agreed.
" He attacked you and nonplus angry rather of accept your decision or trying to plead his casing in a calm manner . That is n’t the sign of a supportive and mature mate . Rethink your dating berth . "
Everyone reminded Throw that it’s her money, and she can choose what to do with it — whether that be surgery, gifts, or what have you.
" Is it selfish you want breast augmentation ? Not if you ’ve saved up for it with your own goddam money . Well done for being financially savvy,“u / MorefromtheBBCsaid .
The way Throw’s boyfriend asked for such a huge sum and then tried to shame her for not giving it to him was a massive red flag to many… to the point where they felt like he may even be scamming her.
" Not the arse ! This should be a monition . He ’s try out to guilt you because you do n’t want to give him your money . I would run for the hills because this seems very funny to me , " saidu / BlackberryMaterial33 .
When people really thought about it, the fact that he wanted money for school just started making less and less sense when considering his visa.
" I thought there was some form of student assistance for this stuff , is there not ? I do n’t mean loans and material , but I think that if you go to schoolhouse abroad then you would get some kind of aid . Or am I haywire ? Because if so he should qualify for some type of loan , " posedu / steph109 .
“People on student visas have to prove they have the financial means to study abroad before they are granted the visa, so either he lied to get into your country OR he is lying to you now,“u/leslielaughssuggested.
" Either way , it does n’t speak well of his graphic symbol . Get rid of this guy . He is seeing dollar signs when he looks at you . "
After a quick dig into the student visa process, this proves to be true. According to theUS Department of Security, “A prospective student must have financial evidence showing that they or a sponsor has sufficient funds to cover tuition and living expenses during the period of intended study.”
" grounds of financial ability include but is not restrict to :
– Family bank statements
– Documentation from a supporter
– Financial aid letter
– encyclopaedism letter
– varsity letter from an employer show yearly salary . "
So maybe he is trying to scam her? What do y’all think?
