" the near part of start a unexampled job is all 4 of your grandparents are alive again . " — @roastmalone _
TheWriters Guild of America went on strikethis week, and I hope you’ll join me in publicly voicing your support! Everyone deserves to be paid a fair and livable wage.
Writer ’s Assistant , Showrunner Assistant and Script Coordinators all get let go this hebdomad from their rooms when we prognosticate the hit so if you require to stand , maybe consider supporting them . Donate to the Entertainment Community Funds.https://t.co/eL1etvdE1W
Many of the women featured in these weekly roundups are also members of the WGA, so make sure you follow all these hilarious ladies on Twitter!
1.
5yo ; “ Mommy , I retrieve when I rise up , I might change my name to a grownup name because my name is a little kid ’s name . Maybe I ’ll use my middle name . My name is such a baby name ! I want a grown up name when I ’m a grown up . ”Reader , his name is HARVEY .
2.
i ’ve had sex with one british guy and he went “ ooo that ’s lovely ” the whole fuckin timehttps://t.co/poJ5CjAeRo
3.
I just unexpectedly upload this instead of my account on a ship’s company ’s invoicing portal and I ca n’t erase itpic.twitter.com/Bxg8RRy4 ha
4.
My dad left me what I thought was a ring in his will . It was kinda small and as I was try on to get it on my finger he goes " Oh . It ’s not a ring , it ’s your January 1 prepuce . We had it bronzed " .
5.
fighting with airport security about whether or not my shock of spaghetti counts as a liquid ( yes I make love sauce is liquid but I suppose the cooked spaghetti cancel it out . It ’s not like it ’s SOUP ) . gauge I ’m just gon na have to eat it while my TSA agent watches
6.
Sorry but in what context did my headphone think I was going to say “ Butthole ” here??pic.twitter.com / Ck8PVQFS2w
iPhone suggestion : " but , butthole , butter "
Twitter : @missmulrooney
7.
i wish well all former human that wanted to hit on me did it like this italian Isle of Man who act the pianoforte in this cafe attractively for an time of day and then fare up to me afterwards to say " i play only for you " and shake my hand
8.
I just need to tell you that someone on riverdale just drink a milkshake out of the holy grail
9.
Oh Buddy . You ’ve done more than make them call back about it . You ’ve bonded them forever in a group school text where one of them will share a wedding ceremony photograph or furtherance intelligence and one of the others will say “ i do n’t cognise , SMELLS LIKE FAILURE . ” And then they ’ll all die laughing.pic.twitter.com/Di1M62gZuN
Twitter : @baddestmamajama
10.
have a go at it when a girl named Catherine goes by Cat . like you made the best of a high-risk billet
11.
think crab with NPR like it ’s just just a collective of the most gentle rumpled dweeb named Maureen and Alfonse they are no menace to you they just desire to record ambient sounds on your farm and say stories
12.
It ’s going to be a long nighttime . 🧚 ♀️pic.twitter.com/BrppcR0zJK
Twitter : @HameroffLindsay
13.
thinking again about how the woman who did my hair and makeup for my wedding was also a spirit medium , and when i asked her if there were any spirits stuck to me she said " i ’m sensing some dying energy ? " and i was like " that ’s just me , sorry "
14.
thinking about thispic.twitter.com/WENAKZ42ai
Person 1 , a day later : " So I ’ve just read your web log . And I take that back , I ’m so pitiful "
Twitter : @hannaweeny
15.
The funniest affair about meds is when you contain taking them out of curiosity for a while to see if you are actually crazy and for a while you feel great and then one day you are like why does everyone in this grocery store store HATE me
16.
the best part of set out a new job is all 4 of your grandparent are alive again .
17.
My girl left a full glass of Milk River on the stairs and in a ~shocking twist~ the milk got kick over and there is milk everywhere and she is yell because she was still drinking that . Got ta feel bad for her , there ’s no mode anyone could have predicted that outcome .
18.
nobody is wear necklace to this years met blowout because of what happened to HERpic.twitter.com/XfcRzBfb8Q
19.
The most feminist thing a guy can do before a suspension up is be kind of a dick so that the girl has meter to detach and finger more alleviated than deplorable when it officially ends
20.
drama in the school day whatsapp chat ! the PTA invited us all to a coronation party and one of the dada ( who ’s a professor of colonial history ) say wipe out my tool
21.
my friend once go to the infirmary for alcoholic beverage poisoning and he total back to our student residence the next morning still intoxicated bragging about how he get the nurses number . so we all called bullshit and asked him to show us and he pulled up her contact and the number was just " 8 "
Don’t miss last week’s funniest tweets by women:
These 25 Hilarious Viral Tweets By Women Will Brighten Your intact Day
…or the funniest tweets by women of 2023 (so far)!
QUICK ! come in Laugh At The 50 Most Hilarious Tweets By adult female So Far In 2023 Before Twitter Becomes A Barren Wasteland
