" It ’s a lot easier to get through the rocky component when you have this in a kinship . "
Maintaining a healthy, long-term relationship takes a lot of work so when I came across a Reddit thread whereu/AnAttackCorgiaskedpeople who are in their longest relationship, what went right this time, and the wide array of answers was honestly so refreshing to read. Here are some of them.
1.“Friends for more than a year first. Now married nearly 50 years.”
2.“I finally got comfortable enough being alone that I was able to adhere to my standards. I didn’t settle for someone because they were funny and liked some of the same things I do. They’re also always kind even when angry, they don’t yell or throw things, and they don’t disrespect me or our relationship.'
— uracil / offbrandbarbie
3.“It had a lot to do with figuring out what’s genuinely healthy for me. I used to have white knight syndrome pretty badly. After a period of major turmoil and loss, I was so emotionally exhausted that I didn’t have anything to give somebody else. So when I found a loving, strong person that didn’t leach more from me than I was willing to give, it ended up being so damn nice. We got married in January!”
4.“She didn’t give up on me when I hit a low point.”
— atomic number 92 / DefinitelyNotADave
5.“We were both stable (socially, financially, and professionally) and emotionally mature people who were ready to have a family.”
— uracil / Southern_Snowshoe
6.“We communicate on the same levels and check in with each other often to make sure we’re both happy in our lives.”
— u / pm_me_ur_cutie_booty
7.“I put effort into making myself a better person before I met her, and I put effort into helping make her life better instead of just seeing her as an accessory to my own life.”
— u / HutSutRawlson
8.“My 13th wedding anniversary is coming up. I really think the thing that got us through the toughest points was sharing the same values. If you both value the same things at a base level (family, honesty, kindness, compassion, and understanding) it’s a lot easier to get through the rough parts where you don’t see eye to eye on basically anything else.”
— uracil / mrschivers
9.“Both of us show up, every day, every moment you must be present.”
— u / coupdevill
10.“Honest communication. We’ve both done some thoughtless things over the years but we can sit down and talk it out because we can articulate our emotions. Also, he makes me laugh every day.”
— u / Blumpkin_Spice_Latte
11.“We didn’t rush it and let things happen naturally. Also, we actually have fun together and she’s not only my partner but also my best friend.”
— u / DemonCleaner95
12.“We have mutual respect and admiration for each other. We celebrate each other’s successes and are there for support when either of us is having a tough time. But mainly, we both communicate really well and aren’t afraid to talk about stuff before it becomes a big(ger) problem. We’re both physically attracted to each other but our love makes that attraction so much more than a physical thing, which is important as you age! We’ve been married for 18 years and are still head over heels, disgustingly in love with each other.”
— u / Cold_Barber_4761
13.“When I actively think to myself: ‘I am choosing to love and work on this instead of running away.'”
— u / Phillycheese27
14.“I will say timing has a lot to do with it. Being in a mindset to continue a relationship is essential. Most of my previous relationships I probably could have made last but my youth just wasn’t ready.”
— u / whynotfather
