" My parent did it to me and I turn out fine ! " Uh , no , you did n’t .
Look, parenting is hard. No parent is perfect, but there are some mistakes that will straight-up mess up your kids for life. And when Reddit useru/spicy-baerecently asked, “What screams ‘I’m a terrible fucking parent?'”…people had some pretty scathing replies.
Here are 33 things that are major toxic parenting red flags.
1.“Refusing to admit to their child that they were wrong or made a mistake. It’s really common to feel like you can never admit to being wrong because it would undermine your authority, but all you’re doing is modeling emotional immaturity, breeding resentment, and setting your child up for terrible relationship dynamics in the future.”
— u / goosie7
2.Summed up…“I’m big, you’re little. I’m smart, you’re dumb. I’m right, you’re wrong.”
— u / Worried_pet_Potato
" The other day I was in the yard with my two - year - old and he pointed to the sky and enjoin ' moon ! ' And I enunciate , ' Oh no , buddy , it ’s mean solar day time’ … and then I looked up and sure enough there was the damn moon . I rationalize . "
— u / thrillhouse416
3.“Letting your kid(s) annoy people without repercussions — ex: kicking the back of an airline seat.”
— u/_three_piece_suit
" As a waitress , I agree . I ca n’t severalize you how many eating house I ’ve worked at that the parents just allow for the kids to head for the hills around , scream , go up to other citizenry ’s tables , etc . At one point a kid ran into a waiter carry a tray . The denture just fall and regrettably one of them dispatch the kid on the pass .
The parents were pissed , but my coach called the ambulance and tell them their kid never would have been wound if they did n’t allow the small fry to run around like that and if they in reality would have kept an eye on Kid . Safe to say , they got banned by the eating place . "
— uranium / CatsInAOvercoat
And along those lines … “Getting more upset by the people your uncontrolled kids are bothering in restaurants / airplanes / etc . than your kids ’ terrible conduct . "
— u / smp501
4.“Letting things slide by saying ‘it’s just a child.'”
— u / MutantGodfreaky
" I have a neighbor who has been saying ' football tee hee , boys 🤷 ' and her sons are 18 and 20 now . They need to learn consequences . "
— atomic number 92 / maxthunder5
" ' Kids will be youngster . ' ' Boys will be son . ' And tbh , I ’ve never heard any specifically for girls . "
— u / patchway247
5.“Staying in a loveless marriage. My parents are in one but don’t get divorced, and it fucked me up real good.”
— u / JKolodne
" Staying together ' for the welfare of the shaver ' is crap . "
— u / Dracorex_22
6.“Thinking you know more about the kids mental state than they do. ‘Pfft, I know you’re not depressed, I would know!’ … I’ve seen this situation play out far too often. Listen to your kid — you do not know them better than they know themselves. No one does.”
— u / TheNerdMaster69
" I was in fifth grade and tell my mom I consider I was depressed . surely enough , I got a long lecture about it and what it was and how I could n’t perhaps be depressed . She substantiate my misgiving that I was , and I did n’t open up about myemotionsfor years after . turn out I ’ve had depression since I was in second / third level . "
— uranium / Beneficial_Affect522
7.“Using the children for content.”
— uracil / Quiet - Rip-6063
" Ugh , ESPECIALLY during vulnerable worked up minute . It ’s one thing if they ’re having fun , but when they ’re crying ? Put your atomic number 64 phone down and give them a hug for goodness sake . What is faulty with people ? "
— u / lightningbug24
8.In particular…“YouTube family channel parents, or just any parent that forces their children into a life of fame.”
— u / AnnemarieOakley
" There really ought to [ be ] anonymity laws for minors . Like if a small fry is going to be on TV or social medium , you should be required to give them a fake name and digitally alter their appearance . When the kid turns 18 they can choose in or out and decide for themselves if they desire to be famous . There ’s so much luggage attached to fame , it should n’t be legal to put that on someone without informed consent . "
— u / KileyBush
9.Forcing your kid into a religion/judging them if they don’t feel strongly about your religion.
" I am not a Jehovah ’s Witness like my mom , so one day she severalise me she did n’t require to do it anything about my life . I ’ll never draw a blank that "
— u.berrrygood
10."‘My parents did it to me and I turned out fine!'”
— u / howboutthat101
" Did you ? Did you really sour out to be fine ? ”
— uranium / No - Lifeguard3759
" And is ' fine ' what you really want for your kids ? Do n’t you want better than that for them ? "
11.“Turning a child against their other parent. Parental alienation because you hate the other parent. So damn selfish.”
— u / Immajustbrowse19
" Involving your kids in adult issues , like bills , disputes with the other parent , etc . "
— u / lindsayyy3 t
12.“Forcing kids to hug people when they don’t want to.”
— u / CrystalQueen3000
13.“Being emotionally unavailable to your child.”
— u / calmanxiety88
" I ’m 34 and only now realize how harmful this has been . Being raised in a insensate and formal way is nothing brusque of emotional neglect . "
— u / ExOAte
14.“Wanting to be their friend and not their parent. Kids want you as their leader. I used to tell parents who said they were their kid’sbest friendthat they want a leader. And, if you, as a parent, will not be their leader, then they’ll find a leader and I can guarantee that the parent will not like how their child’s ‘leader’ leads. By then, you’ve lost. It doesn’t mean to be dictatorial, but parents need to lead by giving good examples, teaching right from wrong, good life lessons, etc.”
— u / drosen32
15.“Flipping the roles- having the child be the parent and the parent be the child. It wasn’t his fault, but no normal person’s childhood ends at seven years old. Fucked me up severely.”
— uracil / SomeKindOfAGamer
16.“Not bothering to get a child a diagnosis when it’s needed. Usually the reasons are the parents don’t want to deal with the stigma of the diagnosis and/or don’t want the extra work of appointments/therapies/etc.”
— u / paul_rudds_drag_race
17.“There’s also the inverse: insisting your child has some kind of developmental disorder even though their teachers, pediatrician, and virtually everyone else who interacts with them knows they’re neurotypical. So you go doctor-hopping until you find some quack who’s willing to throw a diagnosis at them.”
— u / Hopesick_2231
18.“Shoving a screen in front of your two-year-old’s face to keep them entertained 24/7.”
— atomic number 92 / Gimmesumfreespeech
19.“Shaming their child in front of people. Also, not teaching their child manners. Simple please and thank you can go a long way.”
— u / teacherof4sand5s
20.Putting undue pressure on your kids to be uber-successful…especially in the same hobby/career you tried your hand in.
" I act upon concessions for my city as a side gig . I was alone one Nox , as it was just high-pitched shoal baseball games so not very much business anyway . [ A ] 16 - year - old nestling and his pop are walking along and the dad keeps berating him for not making a catch or whatever . Kid throws his glove at his dad , screams ' have intercourse you , I throw in ! ' and storms off . Dad was looking around for anyone to take his side and eventually at me . I just shook my head and shut the windowpane . I do n’t get why mass conceive their kids are gon na be the nextDerek Jeter . "
— uracil / connerofthenorth
" They go wrong to " make it big " so they want to live through their fry . "
— uracil / CryptographerMore944
21.“I think a terrible parent is one that tries too hard to groom their kids for adulthood, in an effort to make a carbon copy of themselves. Kids need to make mistakes. They need to learn how to trust their judgment. They need to learn how to build confidence on their own. They need to learn how to make friends and need to learn how to adapt to different things in their society. Keeping that away from them is not very good because it doesn’t fully prepare them for what could come up when they’re older.”
— uranium / ToasterOven31
22.“Any parent who says ‘I know my child would never ever lie to me…I know when my child lies to me.’ These people are clearly bloody delusional or in denial. … I worked as a teacher and any parent who said this was normally a very bad sign. … The parent is telling you, ‘I’ll always side with my child no matter what.’ Like, have they no memory of being a child themselves and knowing that every kid will lie to their parents at some stage?”
— u / billythepub
23.“People who can’t stand their kids and don’t enjoy being around them.”
— u / Samurai_IX
24.“Giving your child the shaft because of a romantic partner.”
— u / G_Ram3
" you could bet your bottom one dollar bill that they ’ll also apply the kid as an emotional support system anytime their romantic kinship break down . "
— atomic number 92 / Creative_Recover
25.“Taking someone’s door away. I never understood some parents who did this.”
— u / Awkotaco95
26."‘I fed you, bathed you and made sure I kept a roof over your head. Now you owe ME.'"
— u / janejennie
27.“Kicking your kid out under any circumstances. Unless they’re a criminal there should not be a reason for you to kick them out with nowhere else to go, especially if they had just turned 18.”
— uranium / KittyChu613
28.“Belittling your child’s hobbies and interests just because they are different from what you like. Your child is their own person, not just a miniature copy of you.”
— u / Random - Username7272
29.“Cussing at or insulting your children, especially in public. I was in the electronics section of Walmart the other day and a kid was nearby looking at video games. The mother, presumably, comes over and starts dropping F bombs at him, saying she didn’t have money for any ‘stupid f’ing’ games and to get his ‘dumbass’ over here etc. Broke my heart.”
" I grew up poor . I sleep with we could n’t give many toys or picture game , but I would always flow out in the toy gangway or telecasting game sphere while my mom would denounce for groceries . Then she would add up get me when she was done . No shouting , as she knew where I was the whole time . I know we could n’t give those thing so I never asked . I just require to admire everything . This hapless tyke could ’ve been doing the same . Just windowpane shopping , knowing he could n’t have anything . "
— u / Exotic - Squirrel
" Before I encounter my now married woman , the girl I was seeing had a twin sister that had several shaver from several bozo . I commend one fourth dimension I go over to pay heed out with my girlfriend , and the firstborn ( six - ish at the time ) was there . The sister was on the sofa staring at the television set , and the child kept trying to talk to her . He[d say ' I have it off you , mamma ' to which she ’d reply , ' FUCK YOU , [ kids name ] ! ' I ’ve never find my heart break like that . "
— u / TurrPhennirPhan
" Like the time a former protagonist inaugurate her five - year - old to me by say , ' This is ( name ) , he never shut the nookie up . ' And the pitiful kids face fell . Horrible mother . "
— u / deermouse711
30.“If you’re always pointing out the negative of your kids personality or ability, they are going to live up to that. Accentuate the positive.”
— u / TimeTraveler3056
31.“Verbally tearing your child down for a simple mistake. Then not letting it go. I watched a parent in Target tell their small child how stupid they were for spilling a little Starbucks juice. This lady went on an on about how careless this poor kid was and how they could have had a toy but NOOO they’d wrecked that. I have to be honest, I went up to the kid and said, ‘It’s not your fault, it’s just an accident’. The lady started asking me who the hell I was to do it and I told her I was the person who was calling CPS for abusing this girl in front of the entire store.”
— u / EmmelineTx
32.“I had a friend one time talk about how kids ruined her life and how she wishes she has waited longer so she could’ve done more, etc. Right in front of her young son. You could tell he understood every word — his face just fell. I has never seen that little boy look so sad. For the record, he was a GREAT kid.”
— u / Impidimpet
" I once see someone tell their nine - year - old daughter she should ’ve been left on the sheet . I was so dismayed I could say anything , that was so many years ago now but I think about that child all the clock time . "
— u / Piwakawaka6
33.And finally…“Pageants.”
— u / MizLucinda
