" I pooped in the wienerwurst jakes when I was eight and tried to blame the dog . Yeah , no , my mom does n’t think the dog poops where he rests . "
We all tried to get out of trouble as kids by telling the slightest fibs — and a lot of times, it simply just didn’t work.
U/Drizzhorecentlyaskedthe people of Reddit, “What is a ‘little’ lie that backfired on you when you were younger?” Ah, to be young again:
1.“I wrote my sister’s name on the closet wall in crayon. I told mom and tried to frame her. She said my sister can’t write yet. I still remember how stupid I felt for pulling that stunt. But it makes me smile, remembering. I will have to ask mom if she remembered that. I noticed that, years later, she never painted over it.”
— u / Oklahoma - Essay-2352
2.“In fifth grade, I wasn’t doing my homework, and I got home from school one day to my mom and mamaw sitting in the living room with serious looks on their face. My mom told me to sit down and said that the school called and told them that I hadn’t been turning in my work. I instantly started crying and said that I had been turning in my work, just not my homework. They would always ask if I was doing my homework and I’d say ‘Yes,’ even though I wasn’t. My mom said, ‘Okay, well you better start doing it.’ She then proceeded to tell me that the school never called, she just knew I hadn’t been doing my work.”
— u / RandomLurker04
3.“When I was eight, I lived down a gravel road that the bus would come down to pick me up. The older kids on the bus hated this. In the afternoon, they would corner me and tell me it was my fault that their bus ride home was longer than it should be, because I should walk out to the main road instead. Fast forward to a day that we had a substitute driver. I told the driver that the bus takes me down the gravel road to my house. The older kids immediately jumped up and told the driver I was lying. They were all screaming. I, being a child, started crying. The driver felt bad and took me down the road. My parents came home later and could tell I was upset. As I was telling the story, they just assumed the driver didn’t take me down the road, and I couldn’t help but let them believe it because of all the support I was receiving. I never dreamed they would call the school board. I had to come clean so the substitute driver wouldn’t get fired.”
— u / theonlyhonez
4.“I forgot my keys and got locked out of the house. Usually, I’d just wait on the porch, read, and do my homework, but it was a long day and I was tired, so I donkey-kicked the door. When my mom and stepdad came home, they asked why the door was broken, and I said that I didn’t know and that it was like that when I got home. So they called the police, and they matched my shoe to the shoe print. Luckily, I was generally a good kid, so I just got yelled at a bit.”
— u / MarshmallowFloofs85
5.“I said I had a girlfriend at a different school. One of the kids' mum was a teacher there, and she confirmed they didn’t exist. God, it was embarrassing.”
— uranium / unlikemike123
6.“One afternoon, I went to a friend’s house from the bus stop instead of going home after school. I was in kindergarten. The friend’s mom asked me if my parents knew I was there, and I said, ‘Yeah, of course, we planned this since last week.’ My parents had no idea where I was and called the police. Cue the town-wide manhunt, until a neighbor that was friends with my parents spotted me and called them. I got my ass handed to me for that one.”
— u / EddieRando21
7.“I had an eye appointment in second grade, and I told my teacher my vision was so amazing that the eye doctor said I had 40/40 vision. It was actually 20/20, but I fibbed and thought 40/40 sounded better. She made me read the next chapter of the book in front of the whole class because I had excellent vision.”
— u/19VWGTI
8.“For a big state-wide exam day in the third grade, the teachers said if you finished your test you go to recess for the rest of the day. I filled in random answers so fast and had the best day ever. The test results came back, and I was put into special needs classes for fourth and fifth grade before anyone realized I wasn’t developmentally disabled.”
— u / hamletreset
9.“I signed a permission slip ‘My Mom.’ Didn’t go over well with my teacher or my mom.”
— u/2legittoquit
10.“I told my kindergarten teacher that my mom was ‘going to have a baby.’ Not sure why. My mom volunteered at the school, so when she came in a few days later, my teacher hugged her all excitedly and went, ‘Congratulations!’ She had even gotten my mom a card and everything. It was really awkward when my mom was super confused and then had to explain to my teacher that she wasn’t really pregnant.”
— u / princessedaisy
11.“During a field trip in fifth grade, I lied and said I saw a mountain lion on top of the hill. Everybody turned around and said, ‘Oh yeah, I see it! It’s right there!’ I couldn’t see shit. To this day I’m not sure if they really did see one or if they were all just fucking with me.”
— uracil / HurricaneHugo
12.“When I was in elementary school, my parents left me home alone while they went to pick up my sister from a school event. I thought it would be funny to prank 911. I called and said ‘There’s an escaped murderer in my house!’ and hung up, laughing at my funny joke. I got an immediate call back. I panicked and answered the phone and hung up. They called back. So I tried to unplug the landline. Just as the police were pulling up, my parents pulled up too. The police pulled a gun on my dad and made him prove he lived there. I was so scared of getting in trouble, I made up a story that a man knocked on the door and tried to force his way in. I told them it was a white man with a dark beard and he ran off in the cornfield. I don’t think my parents ever knew I made it all up. The next day, the Oklahoma City bombing happened and I thought it was God punishing people because he was mad at what I did.”
— u / Skr000
13.“When I was young, I was at a daycare for the summer, along with younger sister and brother. One day, early afternoon, I’m hungry after mom picks us up and ask if we can get McDonald’s. Mom says no, I can wait for dinner. I insisted, ‘But I’m hungry…’ and thenliedand said, ‘they forgot to feed me.’ I claimed I was in the bathroom during lunch. My mom wentballistic.She called the daycare right then and gave them hell. After she hung up, she declared we were not going to McDonald’s, and I’d just gotten myself grounded for lying, and how embarrassed she was at having just yelled at staff who had been good to us, and that I owed them an apology the next morning. Not only did the daycare staff know they gave me lunch, they knew which of the two sandwich options and exactly how many pieces I’d eaten.”
— uranium / TellMeRUThatSomebody
14.“I once made a Valentine’s Day card for my stepdad from a secret admirer, with a fake kiss that I used my classmate’s lips as a model for. I left it on his side of the bed. It did not go well. Turns out he was a habitual cheater.”
— u / revjor
15.“When I was a freshman, the athletes wore letterman jackets. My sister happened to be dating one of the guys on the football team, and he owned one. One day, I came home and I saw it lying on her bed. I immediately tried it on, got my bike, rode down to the mall, and walked around wearing it. I felt so cool. After a while, I biked back home, and to my horror the guy’s car was in our driveway. I stashed the jacket in the garage. I walked in and my sister immediately started freaking out. ‘WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT?’ I knew I was busted, so I walked into the garage and handed it to her. She inspected it like I tried to set it on fire all the while continuing to shriek ‘I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU IT WAS HIM.’ I felt humiliated. After it all died down, I was sitting in my room with my head down. The boyfriend stuck his head in and said, ‘Hey man, you can wear the jacket if you want. Just don’t lose it, OK?’ That only made me feel like a bigger idiot.”
— u / acquaintance - of - thee - court
16.“When I was in fourth grade, I did poorly on a math test and had to get it signed by a parent. My solution was to sign my dad’s name in blue crayon. I got grounded.”
— u / BurghFinsFan
17.“My son threw up in school. We got call saying he wasn’t feeling good, so I went over to get him. At home, he was still sick. I took him to the pediatrician because he just looked ill. Nothing showed up, except huge bills because we hadn’t met our deductible. He was much better the next day or so. A few days later, my wife and I were staring at him at dinner and noticed his bangs looked crooked. We looked at each other and started to ask him questions. Waterworks ensued, along with the truth. He was in art class and cut a decent bit of hair off. He said his hair was in his eyes. About that time, the teacher walked by, and to dispose of the evidence he ate his hair. He gagged but got it down. Then, he puked later.”
— u / AquaDoctor
18.“I was playing with the the TV remote control, dropped it, and broke it. I put the broken remote on the corner table and stood in front of it and told everyone passing by, ‘Nothing’s wrong here.'”
— u / SuvenPan
19.“I pooped in the dog outhouse when I was eight and tried to blame the dog. Yeah, no, my mom doesn’t think the dog poops where he rests.”
— u / Kalaydowscoop
20.“My parents had just gotten me a new phone. I took it out of my backpack at school and was horrified to find a huge crack across the screen. The phone still worked, but my mom noticed it a few days later and demanded to know what happened. In a moment of panic, I lied and said my teacher had taken away all of our phones before a standardized test (which was actually true, we’d done standardized testing a week or so ago and had to turn in our phones) and when I got it back, it was cracked. I thought she would accept that answer and it would be over with. But no, my mom freaked out, demanded to know what teacher it was, and then startedcalling the schoolto ask to speak to them about it. As she was dialing the number, I broke down and confessed that I actually just found it cracked and that my teacher had nothing to do with it. She was angrier at me for lying than she was about the broken phone screen.”
— u / geologygurl
observe : Some responses have been edited for length and/or lucidness .
