" She literally got so jealous and tell apart me I had to choose between her and her sister . I separate her that this was childish , but she would n’t take heed it . I have n’t talked to her for a couple yr , and there ’s so much less drama in my aliveness now . "
remark : This post turn back citation of abuse .
The people you surround yourself with have a major impact on your life, and when you notice that a friend’s influence isn’t positive, it’s best to end the relationship and move forward.
That being said, it could take time to recognize that a friendship has to stop, and there may be a final straw leading to this conclusion. I recentlyaskedmembers of theBuzzFeed Communityto tell me why and how they cut ties with a toxicbest friendof theirs. Here are some of the responses people submitted:
1.“I stopped contact when I wasn’t invited to my ‘best’ friend’s daughter’s first birthday. This was the friend who I’d arranged the baby shower for, but it got canceled due to COVID. However, some of her other friends decided to do a baby shower anyway and didn’t invite me.”
" She did n’t think to ask for me at all , not even to video call me while it was fit on . Australia ( Melbourne specifically ) had super strict COVID linguistic rule , so I could n’t have gone in someone , but not even a telecasting call ? When the invite to the first birthday never came , even though she take a firm stand ' she mean to take in me , ' I curve railroad tie . No regrets either . Too much dramatic event there . "
— laurenhenderson2
2.“My former best friend moved to my hometown during the pandemic because we all went to telework. She was super happy when I broke up with my boyfriend because then she would have me all to herself.”
" I ended up meet the adult male I married shortly after that and got get married fairly chop-chop . My best friend was against it because she did n’t like that he was an immigrant and thought we were rushing into it so he could stay in the country . I told her thank you for her input , but we are adults and can make our own decision . She then say me that she could n’t be my friend anymore because of it . Now , I have to see her all the time in my townspeople . I completely cut her . "
— juliasmithb
3.“I was friends with her for, like, 10 years, and we both had done so much together and been through good and bad times.”
" Her baby move close to me , like almost next threshold . So , I started hang out with her sister a little more just because of how close she was . She literally got so green-eyed and told me I had to choose between her and her sister . I tell apart her that this was childish , but she would n’t hear it . I have n’t talked to her for a yoke twelvemonth , and there ’s so much less drama in my life now . Now , her sister is my best acquaintance . "
— avemitch09
4.“I constantly felt like I was the one who always called, texted, and made plans to hang out. And when I finally stopped, this person calls me to ask why I’m drifting away. It just didn’t make sense to me to be the one who constantly initiated everything.”
" Another airless acquaintance of mine would ask me to get along over and discourse a ‘ work favour . ’ As a friend I thought , ' Why not ? That ’s what friend are for . ' She keep wanting to hang out until that favor was done , and then nothing . Even when I text her , it ’s very shadowy replies . I always recollect friendly relationship is a two - way street . I ’m 33 now , and it hit me feel so lonely and scared — scared because I heard how hard it is to make friends after your twenty . I love having my girls around , but not at the cost of me forcing the friendship and ruin my mental public security . "
— herefortea
5.“I was going through a pretty tough time mentally, and I needed someone to talk to. I would try and get in contact with her with no reply. When I confronted her about it, she said I was acting like her boyfriend and not her best friend. I cut all contact. She reached out to me YEARS later to try and patch things up, but it will never be like it was.”
— emilylandry1
6.“We’d been friends since junior high, and she had never been pleasant but was funny in a mischievous way. She hated enthusiasm, and I’m easily excitable, so I was never cool enough for her — no one in our group was.”
" last , in our 20s , I realized she was always fighting with one of us but never all of us . This makes it * really heavy * to cut tie ! Finally , after she came to shoot the breeze , she result me with the saloon tab ( which I could not afford ) , called her BOYFRIEND while she was married to our Quaker , and spilled wine on my cat and every open of my studio flat . I decide I did n’t care if everyone else was favorable with her ; she was siphon my happiness . My plan was to tell her when she called to apologize for destroy the weekend . She never did , so I never severalize her ; I just did n’t reply to texts . We see each other at weddings now and again . I say hello , postulate how she is , and dance on the other side of the floor . "
— opalescentminx
7.“Phew, where do I start?! They constantly made plans for sleepovers while knowing I wasn’t allowed (nor felt comfortable) with sleepovers, and any alternatives to hang out were always declined. Three of us, including me, had birthdays in September (me in the middle). They didn’t want to celebrate mine due to exams, yet the other September birthdays were celebrated. They lied about being busy on my Sweet 16 (studying), and I found out they got drunk and posted pics online. Still, they said it was a ‘last-minute plan’ and that they knew I don’t drink, so they didn’t invite me.”
" I announced I was moving away a week before my actual move , and they pretended to care but did n’t say much other than hug me . They never kept in contact with me , but I see they still hang out . My topographic point is less than an hour ’s drive but ' too far ' to visit , yet they go on vacation overseas . "
— senpainoticedu
8.“I was best friends with someone from my conservative school from fifth grade through my early 20s. I became more liberal as I got older and ended up marrying a Black guy.”
" The first thing she did was go on ' missionary employment ' that the church and other Christians , including myself and my parents , donate to . This ' delegation work ' was her study the Bible in the Swiss Alps and across Europe . We were basically funding her vacations . The concluding straw was when she started repostingCandace Owenscrap during BLM protest . As someone who has a mixed family , it was so hurtful . It sucked to have 10 - plus years of friendly relationship gone . But I do n’t regret it . "
— lookatthiscat
9.“It was the most toxic relationship I’ve ever experienced, and that’s saying a lot. She controlled me in every sense of the word, and emotional abuse was her happy place.”
" I was work for her at this fellowship where she was my straightaway party boss at the time , and I had been there for about four days . Once I began work for her , the storey of control she had over my life double ; she was wholly intertwined with everything , even my livelihood , and she engage advantage of that at every possible second . The bad part was that she showed everyone else a completely different persona , so speaking up about it felt unacceptable . One day at work , after a especially regretful six month with her literally bullyrag me at every moment she could , I ’d had enough . My body and head could n’t take it any longer .
I conglomerate all of my matter and quit on the spot , walked out while she was in a coming together and never looked back . She texted me later on that 24-hour interval , say horrible , vile affair , and it hurt , but I was free . The first necessary step to repairing my living was advertise that horrifying womanhood by . It ’s been almost 10 years , and I ’ve never been more sure about a conclusion in my lifespan . "
— glolightly
10.“So, I met her online on an app, and we were (online) best friends for about four years. Slowly, she started to be judgmental about me and my lifestyle. I was on a diet and losing weight; she was triggered and said to never tell her about it. I understand triggers, so I stopped telling her. I had a friends with benefits who flaked sometimes, and she said I was dumb for still seeing him — OK, rude, but whatever. I wanted to chat, and she ignored me — fine. Much more happened, but the breaking point:”
" One day she called saying she had worry with her kitten . For the platter , I do n’t like computed axial tomography . But I loathe people who ill-use big cat . The whole phone call was her screech at the kitten for just existing in the same room . She would n’t listen to anything I say . She just kept screaming at the poor kitten . After the call , I decided I could n’t be admirer with someone who treatsanimalslike that . I dropped her so fast .
I can only trust the kitten ’s fine . For those funny , the rationality she had a job with the kitty was because it stopped using the bedding box . It was maybe a few months erstwhile at the prison term . "
— shirayuridenu_kun
11.“My former best friend began dating a very insecure girl who did not like that he was close to another female. She began a campaign of negativity against me, twisting my words, assigning bad motives to my actions, and doing everything she could to undermine our friendship.”
" She mined him for personal information about me and then weaponized some of that info against me . He could n’t see that he was being manipulate by her , and he end the friendly relationship . When I emailed him in the month follow to allow him bed that my friendly relationship was still there for him if he needed it , she encouraged him to get a no contact club against me . I can only hope one day he realizes how malicious , dishonest , and controlling she is . "
— Anonymous , 46 , North Carolina
12.“My former best friend has been anti-vaccine for as long as I’ve known her. It was always a point of contention, but I just chalked it up to differing viewpoints. Once the pandemic hit, she got even worse with her views and actually showed up to support the trucker convoy.”
" She turn away to get vaccinate and squawk about wearing a masque ( she ’s a teacher ) . The final drinking straw was when she compared federal vaccinum mandate to the Holocaust and racial segregation . I could n’t be friends with someone who had and shared antisemitic and racist view . I block her on social medium and have n’t spoken to her in over two year . "
— canadiancatlady
13.“I was never a priority. Even though we considered each other best friends for 10 years, there was always someone or something else that took precedence. Things came to a head when she told me I’d be in her wedding and then asked another friend to be in it instead.”
" I had to get out on Facebook when all the bridesmaids posted their invite to being in the marriage ceremony political party . We made up after that , but what finally made me realize thing would never change was when we made plans to flow out on New Year ’s Eve a few months later on , and then she never followed up but break to fall out with that same friend again . I never expected her to not have other friends , but after I prioritize her always , I thought thing would be reciprocated a little . terminate our friendly relationship help oneself me focus on relationships where I was prize and apprize . "
— peeweeslostbike
14.“About 10-ish years ago, I started hanging out with a coworker, and we became fast BFFs. We texted every day and hung out a few nights a week. Over time and after some various incidents, I realized how emotionally immature and selfish she was. I was always there for her, but whenever I needed emotional support, she was nowhere to be found and full of excuses if I called her out.”
" She let into a really expensive rocking horse and got unrestrained when I did n’t have the monetary resource nor vim to participate with her . And to top it off , I had tactile sensation for a friend at the time , which she damn well knew about , and she slept with him after we all went out one nighttime .
She finally found yet another boyfriend and come out place all her metre and energy into him , and I began drifting off , communicating less and less until we fundamentally just stopped talking entirely . I overleap her sometimes , but it was definitely for the respectable . "
— abbyf4fdf52518
15.“For me it wasn’t one big thing, but the culmination of several small but damaging things, like when she wouldn’t stop accusing me of stealing her stuff, including a book she gave to me and wrote an inscription in the front of (this was the only way I could convince her I didn’t steal it).”
" She also used to talk up her other acquaintance ' calibre to me that I did n’t have and would tell me how I was n’t doing enough with my life even though I was in grad school full clock time and working a part - clip job . I started noticing how I always felt bad around her , like I could n’t measure up to her standards . After that , I curve off contact . "
— ellebart0
16.“My ex-bestie (of 50-plus years) and I stopped talking when she didn’t show up to my immediate family member’s funeral. I knew she had a ‘thing’ about attending funerals, and I respected that. What I didn’t respect was the fact that she wasn’t waiting for me outside the funeral home or at the wake. I needed her, and she was well aware.”
" This was just icing on the cake after she spoke sick to my grownup tiddler about MY past tense and also told a third party about a very individual situation I was in . She shared this individual info and even transfer the information to make me look spoiled . I was done , and I do n’t miss her at all . Sometimes , the folderol take itself out . "
— Anonymous , 65 , Ontario
17.“We were best friends since we were 3 years old and went through major, significant life events together. I moved abroad in 2014 but made a huge effort to see her every time I flew home (she was always one of the first to know my flight details and make plans with me). She had her first child in 2017; nothing changed on my part. I still made the same effort, if not more, to spend time with them both. She then had another child. I had my first baby just before lockdown and have flown home six times since he was born. She managed to meet him once for 10 minutes because that’s all she could spare me.”
" It got to the leg where trying to see her or make plan was like pulling teeth , and everyone could see it but me . The terminal nail in the casket was her insisting that I attend three disjoined hen events for her wedding and attend the wedding no matter of whether I was heavily pregnant or with a newborn . After 27 years of friendship , I just had to walk by and swallow that we ’d grow asunder . "
— amylinf1202
18.“We had been drifting apart for a while — it was really feeling like I was putting all the effort in and getting nothing in return. The breaking point came when I had been in a nasty car accident earlier in the week. When I saw her at sport on the weekend, I mentioned to a teammate I was nervous about my back ‘cause of the accident.”
" She piped up , ' Oh yeah , I pick up about that ! ' Had n’t message / called / bothered in any way to stop in with me to see if I was OK . It was a moment when I realized she really did n’t care about me and that I was really , last done . "
— Anonymous , 35 , Melbourne
19.“I reconnected with a guy I went to school with. We became good friends quickly and hung out all the time. I made it clear that I just wanted friendship with him ‘cause he told me he had a thing for me. At first he was cool, but every now and again, he’d send me random gifts and flowers — one time to my work! I told him it was out of order because we are not in a relationship, and it made things weird. Again, he backed off for a while.”
" The last time we speak , he had come to meet me after work for a drink . Everything was hunky-dory , but he embark on saying something about me message a guy . manifestly , he knows someone who knows someone else , who tell him I was chatting to a hombre . I was shocked ; again , it was none of his patronage who I address to — we were NOT together . He then pull out the nice guy card , said he had done so much for me ( I never require him for a thing ) , and I do n’t fancy him . He insinuate that I owed him .
I was fuming by this breaker point . The last thing he tell before stomping off was , ' I hope you remember this one day . ' Oh , I did . I immediately delete his number , ignore every message he sent seek to apologize , and ended up block him on every platform . It ’s been nearly a class since I ’ve seen or spoken to him , but I do n’t miss him at all . He just would not respect my compliments or tactile sensation , and it feel like our entire friendly relationship was a Trygve Lie . "
— puss_pastry
20.“Not sure who exactly cut ties with whom first. After 15 years or so of checking in and reaching out, at first consistently and then sporadically, I just gave up. We were once ‘true blue’ pals from the preteen years on, but after going to separate universities after college, she always had an excuse to not write, message, call, or visit. Then, I would find out she did have time for other friends.”
" She overleap most of my big biography milestones and awful moments since . For some intellect , I still put her in my hymeneals and retrieve we ’d turned over a new leaf , but she phased properly back out of my life and knows none of my youngster . Turns out , I over - prioritized this person most of my spirit and had a staggeringly unhealthful dependency on that friendly relationship .
Sure , it is a little sad to think we did n’t stay ' true blue friends , ' but I ’ve built unexampled friendship , the good of which is with my spouse , and in the closing , it feels so much more rewarding to not blow the energy extend to out . I still wish her well ! "
— nagtag
21.“Best friends for nearly 40 years. She acted entitled and loved offering her ‘parenting advice’ although she didn’t have any children of her own. Apparently, taking some psychology classes made her an expert. She turned into an ungrateful bridezilla when she got married AND tried to get me to pay for a baby shower that SHE wanted to throw for one of my kids even though I was across the country. At that point, I was done.”
— azunicorn
22.“I was dating my boyfriend of two years who told me that we couldn’t sleep together due to his religious beliefs, and I respected that. I found out he was, in fact, sleeping with my best friend of 16 years for the past year of our relationship by seeing dirty texts from him on her phone. I immediately cut her out of my life, and I’ve never looked back.”
— Anonymous , 31 , USA
23.“We were best friends since seventh grade and went through a lot together. She got married at 19, and her husband did not like me. He felt like I was a ‘bad influence.’ I never knew why until I found out he heard stories about me that were really about her.”
" She never took accountability for the prevarication about me ; he was aweless to me because of it , and she never defend me or clarified that it was her . Her image was more important than our friendly relationship . That was the ultimate breaking head for me . "
— Anonymous , 23 , Houston , TX
24.Lastly: “I met my former good friend in beauty school. We started hanging out outside of school: going to clubs, shopping, hanging out at each other’s houses, etc. She was fun to hang out with until I noticed how self-centered she was. If I was talking about an issue I had, she would make it about her. Anytime we went out to the store, she swore every man was checking her out. Every conversation was about her.”
" I make for nights at a warehouse at the time and would go to beauty school Saturday dawning with no eternal sleep in between sometimes , and take her home after school turned into drive her around to run her errand . She did n’t care if I was work off no eternal sleep because it was always about her . When she decided to drop out of beauty school day , I took that as my cue to discharge her , point . It was run down to be her protagonist . "
— Kay , 31 , Texas
notice : Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity .
