“ I was distressed since the beginning of time that a glaring flaw would remove me from the work force . And normally it was my incoordination or getting bewilder , too imperfect or sick , in my trailer – or any prison term , really . "
This post contains discussion of suicidal ideation and substance abuse.
You knowSelma Blair.
And you probably know that she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, or MS, back in 2018.
In a new interview withBritish Vogue,Selmaopened up about struggling with her symptoms before receiving her diagnosis, as well as how she’s moving forward since she was diagnosed.
Selma said that dealing with the “lassitude and anxiety” that came with her symptoms was “terrifying.” “I made mistakes,” she said. “Wished myself dead. Attempted suicide. A few times. Out of desperation.”
The “exhaustion” and the “tics” she experienced made it hard to do her job on set, too — and she eventually struggled with alcoholism as a result. “I was lost and sad and could hardly ever smile,” she said. “Hence my roles, I imagine.”
“I was worried since the beginning of time that a glaring fault would remove me from the workforce. And usually it was my incoordination or getting stuck, too weak or sick, in my trailer – or any time, really. The vomiting or body issues were terrifying, [and the] baldness or rashes.”
Selma especially struggled with her MS symptoms, as well as alcoholism, on the set of the firstHellboyfilm in 2004. “I remember being very, very poorly onHellboyand was diagnosed with cat scratch fever and possible leukemia in Prague,” she recalled. “I couldn’t tell anybody.”
“I couldn’t admit alcoholism or [access] treatment in my insurance for fear I’d be deemed an insurance risk. I fell apart once I got back to LA.”
Since receiving her diagnosis, Selma’s been focused on increasing awareness of MS, as well as de-stigmatizing the need for a cane or walking stick. “I have an emotional and physical attachment to the cane,” she said. “I settle in my voice and body as soon as I hold [it].”
“It’s an extension of me. And I know it adds to visibility. So many younger people have started publicly embracing their sticks more. I do think representation matters.”
“If I can help remove stigma or over-curiosity in a crowd for someone else, then that’s great.”
Read the entire interviewhere.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, you can call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) and find more resourceshere.
TheNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineis 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found atbefrienders.org.The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386
TheNational Alliance on Mental Illnesshelpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services;GoodTherapy.orgis an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
