Stay safe out there , friends !
As anyone who’s ever been on a dating app knows, it’s like the Wild West out there. Sometimes it can feel a little scary. So a couple of weeks ago, I shared a bunch of first-date safety tips recommended by BuzzFeed readers just like you.You can read that post here.
1.“I now always avoid suggesting places that I go to frequently for the first couple of dates. I had a bad first date at one of my favorite coffee places, and then the guy showed up there two times after that date, possibly to see if I was around. My friend worked there and told me about it.”
— ebennet71
2.“Always tell them that you have somewhere to be after the date. It stops any expectation, gives you a definite out, and as a bonus, if it IS going well and you want to stay, they’ll think you bailed on your other plans for them!”
— Anonymous
3.“Look up the phone number for the place you’re going and save it in your phone beforehand. If your date is extra sketchy and you’re not comfortable trying to flag down a staff member in front of them, you can go to the bathroom and call from there for assistance.”
— ssketchator1
4.“If you drove there and the date made you so uncomfortable that you’re worried they may follow you home, drive to the closest police or fire station. Park in their parking lot for around 15 minutes or until you feel safe driving home. You don’t have to go in, and odds are, the person won’t wait or continue following you. If anything does happen, you’re right where you need to be.”
5.“If you’re meeting someone from an app, I recommend having at least a 20- to 30-minute phone call first. It gives you far more information than texting back and forth on a dating app does. If something feels off, it’s way easier to get off of a phone call than an in-person date, when you might be feeling more nervous or distracted.”
6.“I use Google Voice for anyone I meet on a dating app until I’m comfortable. It connects to an email account and is a lot easier to block people on if things go south.”
7.“Instead of using a code phrase or word that someone else might be able to catch on to, my friends and I add three exclamation marks to our text if we need an out or are getting bad vibes on a date. For example, a text would say something like, ‘Having a great time!!!’ We don’t usually text like this, so it’s a red flag if we do, and likely wouldn’t alert the person we were out with if they saw.”
8.“If you’re getting dropped off at home by your date or a cab/Uber/taxi/Lyft, tell them you’re staying with or getting dropped off at a friend’s house. That way, they won’t think you’re going home to an empty place and will believe — if anything should happen — that someone is expecting you and will notice your absence immediately.”
9.“Remember that it’s OK to have firm boundaries and to say no to things, even if you’re interested in someone. A big part of dating is putting yourself out there, but that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice things that make you feel safe or comfortable for the sake of another person’s opinion. If someone is pressuring you to swap phone numbers, for example, and keeps doing so after you recommend using social media instead, you don’t owe them anything. If someone is truly interested in getting to know you, they won’t mind waiting a little longer or swapping memes on Instagram instead of via text for a little while.”
10.“Before you leave for a date, leave your apartment lights on. Whether they’re driving you home, you’re taking a rideshare service, or you’re afraid they might follow you, it prevents other people from figuring out which apartment you live in if they wait around outside afterward to see you turn on the lights. If they’re able to see the door you walk up to, it’ll make them think there’s someone else, like a roommate or family member, home as well.”
11.“I have a recording of a guy friend pretending to be my dad having a conversation with me on the phone. I play it when I feel unsafe in a car like Uber or any other uncomfortable dating situation so the other person ‘knows’ I have someone expecting me. It plays a ring tone three times and has pauses in between for me to respond to sound as realistic as possible.”
— Lalalace1640
12.“Always meet at a public place, and buy something with one of your cards while you’re there. Should anything happen, your bank history will give an idea of where you were. Places with cameras are even better so they can match up time stamps with whomever you met, if it goes bad.”
13.“If it’s a first date with someone I’ve met through an app, alcohol is not in the cards. It clouds judgment and makes me too vulnerable. A coffee or dessert is far safer and less expensive!”
14.“If he doesn’t respect your boundaries on a first date — even with something as small as what time you go home — that’s a red flag and an instant block from me. Once I went on a Tinder date, and I told the guy straight up that I had to leave before 11 p.m. because I told my sister I was going to send her a time-stamped Snapchat from my apartment before midnight, and if I didn’t, she should worry. He kept trying to convince me to stay out later, and that’s what made me know I didn’t want to. As soon as he went to the bathroom, I grabbed my jacket and bag and made a beeline for the subway station, and I was long gone before he came back.”
— ddaisy
15.“Trust your instincts and get out if you don’t feel safe or if you sense something is ‘off.’ It just might save your life. One time, I went on a date with someone, and they were constantly looking across the room. I thought they were looking at the clock, which was weird, and I took it as an offense. I decided to get up and leave, but I realized soon after I got up that he was staring at a guy sitting in the booth across from us. He was a big, muscular guy with just an iced tea. He’d been sitting there for the whole date and walked in maybe five minutes after we did. They gave each other this weird ‘Go get her’ look when I got up, so I turned around and said, ‘Hey, my friend is outside; he just got back from the gym. I’m gonna go say hi.’ As soon as I was out of their range of view, I ran to hail a taxi and never saw him or the guy again.”
16.And finally: “If a guy isn’t supportive of your efforts to feel safe, then he doesn’t care about you. He only cares about what he can get from you or do to you. Just walk away.”
— pookanator
Note : Some submissions have been edited for duration and/or clarity .
