" Do you get jealous when your Lyft driver has a new drive added to their queue when you ’re still in their elevator car , or are you normal ? " — @meg_it_happen
The world is a chaotic place, and life’s been tough for a lot of people recently. But if you survived the week without exploding, you’re doing great (relatively speaking).
On our way to Mars !
Make sure you follow all these hilarious ladies on Twitter!
1.
I ’m walking with my chihuahua and a hombre on the street said " yo , Taco Bell hound got a hot mom " and that ’s the only catcalling I will tolerate .
2.
“ what that mouth do ? ” complain
3.
Person 1 : " saw biden in dc . anon pls "
Deuxmoi : " Likely place for him to be "
4.
do you get jealous when your lyft driver has a new drive add together to their waiting line when you ’re still in their car or are you normal ?
5.
My almost 3yo know we are house hunting and he distinguish me “ we are going to buy a star sign with four elbow room , one for me , one for Winnie , and then you and Dada can have your own elbow room ” He opine we divvy up a way bc we do n’t have enough rooms .
6.
one time i was going to a show and they were doing bagchecks . the surety bozo encounter my pill on my dish and said " what are these " i say yk uhh these are my estrogen anovulant
he looked at me for a sec and go bad : ohh these are for , like , enhancing your femininity ? like a muscle builder ?
7.
Person 1 : " Girls , does anyone wanna do a somebody cycle class lmao . And before you say no , keep in mind ! It could be fun and exciting "
Person 2 : " No "
8.
womanhood were n’t even allowed to have a credit card in their own name until 1974 so it ’s actually super empowering of me to have three maxed out recognition calling card
9.
my young man ( who does n’t watch chronological succession ) read “ only white multitude can have a show where none of the primary characters are red-hot ” and i need a minute
10.
“ can you explain the crack in your resume ? ” yes that was when I work really weird jobs that I do n’t want you to know about
11.
Add a yoke of Doc sandals that librate 90lbs and a infant toller tee and I am thirteen and calculate stupid as hell https://t.co/lc7kzSsK5u
12.
Learning to read was a mistake https://t.co/hsafrHuCDK
13.
I be intimate die to parties , always nice to get out of your house and see that your match are equally unmoisturized and unwell
14.
I was acquit in the wrong propagation ( would have expand in an era where if you do n’t get ask round to a political party you actually do n’t hear about it after )
15.
Netflix trying to fix their waiter
16.
Twitter usage is down so much that I posted a tweet with a typo and not one man correct me
17.
The kids asked if we ’d rather have butts for ears or ears for butt , so Matt and I give it some serious idea and agree we ’d both choose butt for pinna . Kids all looked at us like we ’re sickos and said " We would choose neither . " Got play .
18.
My favorite Ed Sheeran Sung dynasty is the one where he ’s like “ personally , I ’m a multimillionaire super genius , but I really pretermit the rotten town I grew up in . Here ’s a list of how crappy all my extremely pathetic friends are doing right now . ”
Don’t miss last week’s funniest tweets by women:
These 25 tweet By Women Are So Absurdly , Intensely , Wildly uproarious That You ’ll Basically Be A young And Improved Person After read Them
…or the funniest tweets by women of 2023 (so far)!
QUICK ! amount Laugh At The 50 Most Hilarious Tweets By Women So Far In 2023 Before Twitter Becomes A Barren Wasteland
