" Dawn accuse me of being a bridezilla and thinking I ’m too dependable for her and her family . "
If you’ve ever been to a wedding that had lots of kids in attendance, you’ve probably seen how hard it can be to corral them — most people think it’s way easier to leave them at home! But if you’ve ever helpedplana wedding…you know that people can get pretty weird when their kids aren’t invited. It’s complicated!
Recently, Reddit useru/Bright_Physics_8375(or Bright Physics, for short) turned to the popular “AITA” subreddit toshare her storyand ask the community, “AITA for only inviting some of my sister’s children to my wedding?”
She wrote, “I got married to my husband in August. We kept it small and simple and didn’t want too many guests due to budget, so we only invited close family members and friends. My older sister Dawn has 10 children. My parents and the rest of my family aren’t religious, but Dawn and her husband are very hardcore Christians and believe that having lots of children is God’s will. Obviously, inviting all of my nieces and nephews would be quite a cost.”
“Dawn accused me of being a bridezilla and thinking I’m too good for her and her family. I told Dawn if she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t have to come, but that she’s my sister and I really want her at the wedding. Dawn, her husband, and three eldest did come to the wedding, but with other family members bringing small children, everyone was asking her about why all of their kids were not there.”
" After the hymeneals , Dawn has been very off around me lately . She told me she ' understands how I feel about her babies ' and said that I ’m a big sister and a painful aunt , and has accused me of not respecting her religion and lifestyle . "
After seeing a few questions roll in, Bright Physics added: “My husband and I paid for the wedding ourselves. I didn’t want to ask my parents or Dawn for help with paying for anything because neither of them have a lot of money. If Dawn had offered to help cover costs so all of her kids could come, I wouldn’t have had a problem.”
Some people appear to disagree, but the overwhelming consensus is that Bright Physics is not the asshole. A lot of people agreed that if Dawn insisted on bringing 10 people, she could have offered to help accommodate them financially.
Other people were more concerned about the planning and the kids' feelings:
" It ’s a hard one , but I ’m going to go with a reluctant you ’re the asshole . I can completely realize why you made that choice , but I do n’t think it was the correct one . These are your niece and nephews , and you chose to exclude them from a family event . I see the cost issue , but it ’s not like these children suddenly materialise just as you were sending out invitations .
You should have budget for all of them from the word ' go , ' or you should have plan a manner to limit bit without it seeming like you were find fault on just that one syndicate . You could , for example , have simply say , ‘ No fry under 12 invited . ' "
— u / Fantastic - Spare-515
But once you realize that the wedding only had 40 people, a family of 12 seems evenbiggerthan before.
Some people had more criticism:U/fragilemagnoliaxsaid, “I really think you should have put an age limit and made it universal for all guests. That would make it more fair, and wouldn’t make it look like you singled out your sister.”
But that was cleared up with a clarifying question:U/jessikillasked, “What was the reason you denied all of your sister’s kids but allowed others to bring small kids?”
“Because I wanted to include my sister, but inviting all of her kids would’ve made us go over our budget,“says Bright Physics. “I thought inviting the eldest three was fairest because they’d get the most enjoyment and remember it. If I had unlimited money, I would’ve invited all of them.”
