" Yesterday I asked my kindergartner what she did in school and she said ' nothing , ' then subsequently I went on Instagram and her teacher had post a picture of her support a crocodile . " — @missmulrooney

TheWriters Guild of America went on strikethis week, and I hope you’ll join me in publicly voicing your support! Everyone deserves to be paid a fair and livable wage.

Writer ’s Assistant , Showrunner Assistant and Script Coordinators all come let go this week from their room when we called the strike so if you desire to support , peradventure consider digest them . Donate to the Entertainment Community Funds.https://t.co/eL1etvdE1W

1.

imagine being glen powell ’s gf and see that he cheated on you w sydney sweeney and everyone ’s chemical reaction is “ real hollywood is back ! that ’s showbiz baby ! ”

2.

Millennials view Gen - Z station about how quaint the post 9/11 Bush years must have beenpic.twitter.com/T9rFFnUq2A

3.

“ what that back talk do ? ” complain

4.

When a situation like the Tucker Carlson firing happens , rather than react with glee , I essay to take a heartbeat to opine through who might be most affected by the fallout . I ’ve done that & amp ; now I want to say , I feel really bad for alcoholic drink .

5.

I get word a strange phone on the baby monitor so I depart to check

the domestic dog is on the chair depend guilty and the child has dog hair in his lip

6.

enoughpic.twitter.com/ox4QzIHEBO

Person 2 : " my tit are small and i ’m crazy . leave me alone "

Twitter : @jasminericegirl

7.

just remember how invested horn catch in the kristen stewart cheat on robert pattinson drama … …… chilling

8.

Every viral tweet now has like 9 reexamination from the author like :

My husband sire me flower !

I wanted to elucidate my married man and I do equal housework

I did not know tulip farm were so spoilt for the environment , sorry

I apologize that this was insensitive to people with allergies

9.

thinking about the couple from my high schooling who did couples therapy after 4 months of dating when they were 16

10.

the worst high i had was when i took some delta 8 gummies someone from tiktok gave me .. i eat the whole ingroup cause i did n’t sense high … 1 60 minutes afterwards i woke up 2 Day by and by

11.

i had to transliterate prison house phone calls in college & amp ; the no.1 matter I learned was that if you ’re in a gang you do NOT get break if you go to prison house . you are ON those phones ! you are exercise remote ! 10 to 15 at a desk job baby ! logistics ! gang HR ! and tbh it run pretty smooth

12.

This $ 725 mil facebook settlement is hilarious when split up between the 3 billion users . warm ! go take your 35 cents ! !

13.

You just ca n’t look me to hit manoeuvre on a show or movie with this color dodge . It ’s not for me . I abide by it but I ’m not behind it

14.

one meter we were watching wrestling and a guy pick out out a vast barrel of thumbtacks and poured it all over another guy and the ring , and i gasped and then went " oh . aww " . and my husband looked at me as if he was get word me for the first time and said " you think that was sparkle . "

15.

novels are so with child . novels are like " i made up a little crazy . oh no , now he ’s in trouble ! "

16.

Me watching my kid play make-believe with his toy : Amazing , the most beautiful thing I ’ve ever seen , he ’s a genius . Me being storm to play the same game with the same toys with him : This is so boring , I will die here .

17.

https://t.co/Qbfg4okgH8pic.twitter.com/x9fQdtSuHR

Deuxmoi : " probable piazza for him to be "

chirrup : @HannahMichaelaM

18.

12yo : I ’ve been think about something . So , Wario and Waluigi are the opposite of Mario and Luigi in every way . Therefore since Mario and Luigi ’s jobs are to unclog toilets , Wario and Waluigi ’s jobs must be to back up can

19.

on the spur of the moment remembered back when I knead at Blockbuster , a ma occur in and find out her kids melt around and spill Zea mays everta all over the floor while she shopped like nothing was happening . So when she came to the register I handed her a broom 😂 😂 😂 . I miss young me , she was sheer 😂

20.

IT HAPPENED TO ME : I eventually met someone who actually say the word “ achoo ” when she sneezes

21.

my boyfriend ( who does n’t watch succession ) said “ only white people can have a show where none of the main part are hot ” and i call for a arcminute

22.

I had a carpenter bee repeatedly landing on my branch and boldness and licking me today . I licked my weapon system to figure out wtf was going on but it just sample like unmistakable branch . What the hell was that about .

23.

they love to distinguish us that q - tips are both improbably dangerous * and * not even good at withdraw ear wax . hmmm interesting so you ’re saying your enemy is both weakly and warm at the same time ? ? ? where have I get word that before ? ? ?

24.

humankind will literally drop decennium asking about the mysterious unripened ribbon around your cervix instead of going to therapy

25.

I think my therapist just fuel me because she “ does n’t realise all this on-line stuff ” . She asked me if I want to talk to someone my own age 😭

26.

I fucking detest how long it film me to realize that that is n’t a crazy weird Grinch mountain in Starry Night but a cypress tree in the foreground

27.

a year into our relationship we were detain at his mum ’s place and I start out making the seam one break of day and he said “ babe stop ! my mum will do that , she LOVES making the bed for me ” https://t.co/wlRP29dCLu

28.

An IT guy is remotely controlling my workplace computer and the last thing I searched was Taylor Swift top and then because it gave me the resolution in meters , I searched Taylor swift acme in feet ! ! ! This is HUMILIATING 😭 😭 😭

29.

as a society we ’re underutilizing bread sports stadium . like what else could we put in there

30.

getting snug in bed then realizing you have to peepic.twitter.com/ud4wRJpIyn

31.

I helped a Nazi screen - up their Hakenkreuz tattoo today . see at it now you ’d never be intimate it was there , reasonably unfounded what six foot of dirt can do .

32.

investing advice : put brie on the counter before bed so it will be soft in the morning

33.

women were n’t even allowed to have a credit card in their own name until 1974 so it ’s actually super empowering of me to have three maxed out credit cards

34.

chirrup usage is down so much that I posted a tweet with a typo and not one man corrected me

35.

the beautician when I go for my wax : https://t.co / ZdFOTIFVjM

36.

“ can you excuse the gap in your CV ? ” yes that was when I worked really weird occupation that I do n’t want you to know about

37.

Parenting is ok except for every once in a while when my 3 - year - old requests “ Ham Hands ” for lunch , which is when she take two handfuls of ham and exhaust it in the living elbow room while she watches tv .

38.

Some guy seek a romanticism scam on me and I went along to counter bunco him . He eventually expect for money , so I say " all my money is in Switzerland in a trustfund but to get it I call for money for a plane ticket " he replies " that sounds like a scam " 😂

39.

why are you unsubscribing from this electronic mail list? ☑ ️you no longer desire to incur these ☑ ️you never bless up at all , you just bought one thing from this place two years ago and now they ’re emailing you daily like you ’re their son

40.

Lol my daughter evidence me late at school break she ’s been gardening and I was like what and she say “ I ask the niche teacher if I could just have a moment of earth ”

41.

authentically how do Aldi not get process every single daypic.twitter.com/GXGG08w3O9

42.

My daughter apparently submitted a handwritten cover letter of the alphabet and resume to the day care attached to her schooling to apply for a line working with the toddlers . She said she has 8 class of experience . She ’s 8 years old .

43.

At a school fine art fair and spent a while marveling at the deepness of this 6th grader ’s piece titled “ feel the feeling ” before I reset the painting had just slipped out of the composition board skeletal frame and was on the floor below itpic.twitter.com/rbH00tNojK

44.

I was take my diazepam before my flight and the Swiss guy cable in the seat next to me saw and opine I was nervous , so he ask me if I liked cats and then showed me a photo of a computerized axial tomography dressed as a pilot and tell “ I discover he ’s flying our plane , I call back we can trust him ” 😭

45.

My pet Ed Sheeran song is the one where he ’s like “ personally , I ’m a multimillionaire super genius , but I really miss the crappy town I grew up in . Here ’s a list of how stinking all my extremely poor booster are doing right now . ”

46.

pic.twitter.com/gkiFpKbOwm

Person 2 : " No "

Twitter : @1followernodad

47.

Gender is n’t binary , except for the two ( 2 ) shows about soccer . The boy show ( Ted Lasso ) is about what befall when boys play soccer ( cry ) , and the lady friend show ( Yellowjackets ) is about what happens when girls play soccer ( slaying ) . Both shows are accurate .

48.

Was waiting for my bag at the airport whirligig and a bozo go out of his style to stand RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME , so I audibly laughed , stepped right in front of HIM , and then my bag was the first one out from our flight of steps 💅 🏾

49.

50.

Yesterday I asked my kindergartener what she did in school and she said " nothing , " then later I run short on Instagram and her teacher had post a picture of her holding a crocodile .

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